WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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