Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
