I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
