I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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