she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
