Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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