I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
