There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
