My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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