Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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