Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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