I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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