You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
