If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
