I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
