Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
