Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm at about main and main street
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
