The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
