Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Mom said you looked used
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Boobs are out for the taking
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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