So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
As shirtless as possible
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
