One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
