Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
