You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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