Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Enjoy the penises
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
