I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
