i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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