And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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