i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
