I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
