i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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