i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
