No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
