you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
