Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
