So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
