I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
