So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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