She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
