Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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