Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
