Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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