College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
