i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
