I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
