I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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