dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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