Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
