And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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