we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
