You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
