She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
