So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
